I wrote this back in 2006 and it’s as if I could have written it yesterday. Wow!
I noted the other day that I spend very little time alone with God. When and where should I do that? As stupid as it sounds, my schedule is so crazy that I rarely even think of it.
I know that God doesn’t want our religious practice and that what I do needs to be done out of love; meaning I want to do it. I make time for everything else I do, so why is it that the one thing that would impact my success in every other area of my life, gets the least of my time? I can’t figure it out. I just know that the schemer and divider of the brethren would want it that way. I know that there are also other things in my life that I don’t make room for like- exercise and alone time with my wife. I think it goes back to a lack of intentionality when it comes to setting my priorities; nothing new.
What I desire to do above all is to seek God first and His mind, before I do anything. Why is that so hard to do? Have I gotten too used to filling every minute that it has become a practice?
I believe that if Christ we’re truly living in me and through me that it would not be such a problem. The point being, I’m not dead yet.
As much as I fail to be the person I desire to be and that I know I should be, I know that He does not ever seek to find fault in me; I marvel at that! He is so loving toward me; how could I ever get so far away?
Here is my prayer to God: Dear God, I have let You down over and over again, yet you never stopped loving me. Help me to forgive myself and to receive Your gift of mercy, so that I will in turn be merciful.
Help me to die to myself that You would live thru me. Help me to seek you early; to pray first; to give priority to the things that have value. Help me not be so busy that I don’t take time to be alone with You.
May my life reflect outwardly the beauty that is a result of a relationship that is divine. I don’t want to live a life that is mediocre. I recognize that the only way my life will be exceptional is when You are living through me.
Thank You that my desire is for You and more of You. Give me wisdom to parse my schedule to make room for a relationship with You that is better than any other relationship could ever be.
Don’t let me stray from Your presence and allow pride or business to separate me from You. You have made wonderful provision for me, but I ask that I would be caught seeking your provision in EVERYTHING I do, so that You will be truly glorified in my life. Love, Mike
God’s immediate response to my prayer, My son you are more precious than rubies. I want to be the one who fills your life. You do not ever need to act in your own abilities or understanding. Your work and effort even done in my name does not make you more worthy. The price was already paid in full for you and there is nothing more you need to earn. Abiding in the vine does not mean struggling to remain attached.
Your passion to live an extraordinary life comes from me. I planted this seed in you. And dying to yourself is not done at your hand and pain afflicted on yourself. My presence is not in a place, you are my temple. I choose you and I chose you first. When you begin to see me in you, it will become a greater reality. Your death was in the water when you were baptized and I have taken residence in you. The war with your flesh will serve to instruct you and I will give you the wisdom to overcome.
Love, God.
