The Melodious

A Pile of Ashes, by Mike Palmer 2006

What is the first thing that comes to your mind regarding a pile of ashes?

Well yesterday I was thinking about efforts and God showed me how much my accomplishments add up to; in the scheme of things. A pile of ashes.

Maybe you’re thinking that can’t be true. However I know what He was saying; he was saying that when you accomplish things on your own that it just ends up being a pile of nothing. I have come to appreciate everything He has shown me. It seems that my efforts fall so short but yet I keep trying again and again anyway.

Why? Why do I keep doing what I know or think I know?

My daughter seemed to have the answer though she did not even understand the question, she said, You have never done it before and you have fear. I wanted to know what have I never done before and what am I afraid of? Of course I was on my own with that. My first thought was that well maybe I still haven’t learned to fully lay down my will and I haven’t because I’m afraid of what He might ask of me. Ouch!

Could it be that while making every effort to love, obey and serve that I need to stop and wait for direction? Will my efforts continue to be futile until I get it? I’m not sure I can bear the thought that somehow I have to stop trying to think it through, planning and reaching.

The hardest thing God could ask me to do is to totally let go of the steering wheel. I did not even realize how much I enjoyed control.

I’m convinced this is His plan, but I’m not sure what He has in mind for me to work it out.

He knows from my past that I want so bad to just follow a simple formula. Do this and this and that will be the result. Somehow I have the suspicion that this will not be the case, because if I could figure out the formula I would try to find a shortcut or attempt to utilize my own effort.

Good bye religion, hello relationship!