Laying in bed one morning and God says, “come away with me, I would like to show you something.”

“Do I have to get out of bed, cause I’m not ready to get up?”

“No just come.”

He has a piece of wood in His hand and we go into His workshop. He asks me, “what I think of the piece of wood”

I’m thinking to myself that looks to me like a common door stop, but I’m sure it must be something better.

“It looks like a piece of wood that could be used for a door stop.”

“Yes it could”, He says. But then He goes on to explain that this piece of wood comes from a rare tree that only grows in a few places in the world and he tells me all the properties of the wood, like it’s density that makes it very soft and then how easily it can be split and so on and He shaves a little sliver of it off and I’m thinking He’s going to make and instrument out of it, because He like music.

He proceeds to machine the sliver of wood till there’s hardly anything left of it and takes it and puts it in His saxophone and plays this awesome tune I never heard before and making sounds that are too beautiful for words.

I’m thinking yep He’s going to make a point that I’m like the rare piece of wood that could be used for a doorstop, but I’m meant to be for a higher purpose like a reed.

So I say, “I see that you are making a point about something, but what is it?” “Am I the piece of rare tree?”

He says, “Nope”.

“Am I the door stop (because I do feel like that’s all I’m good for sometimes)” and He says, “Nope”.

Am I the tool that you used? …

Am I the reed? …

Am I the idea for this story? …

Getting a little frustrated I say, “I don’t get it, what am I in this story?”

“You are not anything in the story.” “I made formed you like I formed the reed and I made you like a rare tree with qualities and weaknesses and you are precious to me, though the world may not see that, but you are not like any of these things.”

“My child, YOU are the one I want share this with.”

Ps. 25:14 says, The Lord confides in those who fear Him; He makes His covenant know to them.

People would argue about a definition, but let me just ask this; what is your relationship with Christ?

Is he lord, Saviour and friend? Is your relationship with him based on what you know from church? Or is it based on what the bible says?

Bottom line is- when you come to the end of this life; will he tell you, depart from me for I never knew you? Or will he say welcome my good and faithful servant?

How do you know if someone else is a Christian?
Jesus said you will know them by their fruit. What fruit? Love, joy and peace… I guaranty if a person brings forth that kind of fruit, it does not come from them. I’m not talking about the fruit that you and I might see them projecting, I’m talking about the fruit that they don’t know they have; that comes from their relationship with Christ

Are they posing or is it real? A good bet is that if they don’t talk about their relationship with Christ they probably aren’t experiencing the real thing or their faith is skin deep and will wither in the sun. It is also a good bet that if they are not faithful in their giving; that they’re not fully trusting God and hence the relationship is shallow and is not real. No matter what excuse they have.

Whatever your definition is you will be accountable to the one whose name you bear.

If someone was lying to you about something wouldn’t you like to know? I know I would.

Would we recognize the truth if we saw it?

Do we have evidence?

Who do we believe?
-the media?
-the government?
-pastor
-teacher?
-parents?
-friends
-the ACLU?

Who told us about the separation of church and state? Were they reliable? Where did they get their information?

Are we sure that we know what it is?

Do we think it might be convenient to be ignorent?

Why would someone lie to us in the first place?

Do we just believe what we want to believe?

Wouldn’t it be smart to believe the facts rather than the opinion of someone or group that has a hidden agenda?

Did you do any research yourself?

Some people and organizations cannot be trusted. We all could name a few.

I urge you not to believe everything you hear. Verify the source is reliable. Ask where the information came from and check it out.

At the very least we should ask ourselves 2 questions.
-why would this source lie to me(motivation)?
-why do I believe them?

If a lie did not have at least a shred of truth we would not believe it.

Is it logical? Can the logic be followed?

Shall we revise the truth? The facts? Interpret it a different way?

We cant win people to Christ with the truth and logic, they can only be won by the love of Christ.

When you use something as unintended you pervert it.

Where is our conscience? And what is feeding it?

Though I try over and over again to understand, I keep ending up in the same place. You just are and you just want me to be. But that is too simple for my complex mind to comprehend.

I know without a doubt that you DO NOT want us to be ignorant of the truth. Somehow our minds cannot equate truth to a person. We think that the truth is something we need to understand rather than just embrace.

Is it such a secret shrouded in a locked box under the sea protected by man eating sharks an army of electric eels and ghost pirates? I guess it might as well be if we won’t believe it’s true.

The only truth worth knowing is Jesus and I admit that I do not know him best. My relationship with Him is often shallow but I go on believing and pretending that I have embraced him while I cling to my own anemic and feeble understanding. Maybe that’s why the scripture says lean not on your own understanding.

My desire is that I become so dependent on him that I no longer seek any other source of fulfillment except from Him. I know it sounds like a desire that I am making up to be spiritual, but I can only determine that this desire was placed in me by God Himself. I could not manufacture it on my own because I know full well that my bent is on my own self fulfillment.. It could not have come from me.

So He put this desire down in the depths of my heart knowing that nothing in all the world would fill it. Isn’t that unfair and cruel?

But I have discovered that in seeking Him and allowing Him to fill my heart and my mind that it brings joy and fulfillment that no money could buy.

I conclude that nothing in this life will satisfy me more than discovering who I am in Christ.

“We have this treasure in earthen vessel…that we may know the Excellency….

I do not deserve this truth, I did not earn it and I certainly do not understand it, but I embrace it with all of my being. However, my will to do right is so fleeting, I will need to hear His voice again tomorrow.

Written 2/25/08 after stress and contemplation

What is going on?
Have you been convinced that the man must die?
Why can’t he be dangerous?
Is a real man to be feared?

In the name of safety we often bow to subtle emasculation
In the name of desire, we pardon our heart and birthright to hushed emasculation

We would climb any mountain to get what we believe she alone has; and we do
We learn to late that gratis lust will only leave you dead.

To give her what she needs and wants we must often deny what she thinks she wants, but does she, will she understand?

No. Because she believes as well that you alone or another like you posses what she aches for. She could go to her grave still believing that you had it, but you just wouldn’t give it.

You only have one heart and it cannot be torn and alive.
There is only one safe place for it and its not with her and that goes both ways.

Can you find it’s true owner? It will be safe with him while you build a life with her.
Only then will she know that she is loved.

She cant be a woman; if you wont be a man and give your heart to God
Your money and your Sunday mornings will not be enough
To give anything less is suicide.

It seems we often fail to understand the season thing that Jesus talked about.
I have discovered truth that everything has a season, just like He said.
Sometimes we get so programmed that we don’t see it.

I attended a leadership training once and the topic that was covered was the growth cycle of the church. The teacher explained how when the church is started it has great vision and inspiration, but after some time growth requires administration. At some point things get so administrated that the vision disappears and the church starts a decline.

Like our teachers analogy of the church cycle I have seen this with just about every kind of organization. Somehow we need to understand this concept and learn to identify the cycle and make corrections. At least that would be desirable.

Whose vision is it anyway and why do we lose it? If we get a vision, is it ours?

Obviously we tend to want to control our destiny and the destiny of anything we’re involved in. If we could recognize this nature, we might think that we can tame it, but in reality I don’t think it’s possible.

When we start out in something bigger than ourselves, we are filled with faith and trust in God that He will provide. However, somewhere down the road, we decide that we need to manage, control and administrate it all. All of a sudden we forget about the faith and trust and we take things into our own hands.

God knew we would do this, He knew we would attempt to control anything and everything we could. It must be quite humorous to Him when we start thinking that we actually do have control and He intentionally allows something to break.

God forgive us, for we do not know what we do.

Let me praise you with all that is in me,
Let me praise you even in my broken state,
Even in my darkest hour let me praise You

Worthy is your name above every other name,
Holy is your name, like no other name,
My lips will praise you, my heart will sing,
Glory and honor, praise to your name.
Let every tongue on heaven and earth
Praise you and lift you up, let your praises ring

Open the gates of glory and with the saints I will rejoice,
With a shout of praise as never heard before.
Jesus be praised, your love abounds to me,
Jesus be praised, I will raise my voice.
It is you we adore, it is you we celebrate,
Matchless and abounding in grace

I was blind and destitute, I was lost and enslaved,
I was desperate and confused, but you heard my cry.
You healed me and restored my soul,
No darkness is too great, no evil too clever or overwhelming,
Nothing will separate me from your love,
Nothing on heaven or earth,
From the beginning of time to the end of us, there is only one,
Let me say it again, there is only One

I love my king, He is my friend,
I love my King, let the whole world know, alive in me forever.
Let it be said of you my Rock and my Fortress,
That you cared for me from everlasting.
You magnified a speck of dust, the crust beneath your feet.
What more can be said?
I was yours before I was mine,
And now I am yours by my choice.
Glory to Your name, glory on high,
At Your throne I will bow, at Your throne I will say
With the angels, Alpha and Omega You are God,
There is no other One.

I am filled with your praise (2x)
And I won’t go on without you,
I won’t be silent, there is no other One

Why Do You Love Me?
By Mike Palmer 2007

My words.
It’s depressing to think these thoughts, but God
I don’t know why you love me,
I don’t know why you care,
I’m not even sure how you can.
Only you know how I’ve hurt you.
Only you know how many times I’ve let you down.
I could never deserve or earn your love,
Nor could I ever gain your trust
I am unreliable when it comes to maintaining a loving relationship,
I only know how to use you.

God’s response.
Your thoughts are not mine and maybe it is hard to understand, but do you understand how much you love your children even when they don’t think to reciprocate?
I care more about you than anything I could ever own or create because I choose to.
No matter how many times you believe you have failed, you are still my child and yes though you have let me down, I understand your weakness and I am not the one judging you now.
It is true, you cannot earn my love; it is a gift to you that can only be received.
I know what you are capable of and I entrust you with what I have given you, because I know who is inside you.
Your perception of failure with reliability comes from your desire to perform, but my love is not based on performance and you can’t possibly maintain it, all you need to do is walk with me, I will instruct and empower you.
You could never use me; when I give to you it is my choice not warranted by your actions.

But I have come to my own conclusion that we offer God our worship and call it good. Did you catch that? “Our worship”, like somehow our offering up a few songs on Sunday morning is somehow pleasing to God. What about our tithes and offerings and other giving? Is our sacrifice pleasing to God? I’m going to say that my sacrifice is worth no more than my righteousness. Unless God consumes my sacrifice and is pleased with it, then it is worthless; like filthy rags.

My worship or I should say what I have come to know as worship by itself has no value to God. I’m not sure this is clear yet, but I’m working on it.

How many times have we gone to church without a thought of what we were going to bring or offer to God? When was the last time you prepared or even took 5 minutes to consider what you might offer to God?

I think that we go to church empty handed, offering God what we have left from the week and expecting that he should bless the fact that we showed up and paid our tithe.

I want to mature and be like King David in regards to his reverence for God; saying I will not offer unto God what costs me nothing.

My prayer is- God help me to bring an offering that is pleasing to you, to prepare myself for the alter, to surrender all, to give my best and to love you and worship you the way You want to be worshiped. I know that I need You and I am destitute without You, consume me Lord, so that when people look at me they see You.

When I realize just how desperate I am, I have to laugh. I don’t know where I ever get the idea that I am so much. I realize that truely I am nothing. I am like a blade of grass that withers in the wind, or like the Bible says a puff of smoke or a vapor.

I see more clearly now than I used to. I can see that nothing I can earn or buy can satisfy me like Jesus. And nothing I say or do can is going to be worth anything; if it is not for Him. All of the wealth in the world could not fill the emptiness that we are born with. How pitiful it must be for people; to live their lives in denial or ignorance of the truth that God has put before all men. Even if you deny God and deny all that He says in His Word, you cannot deny this- without sacrificial love there is no hope, no lasting joy, no peace and no satisfaction.

Thank you Lord for Your sacrifice! I cannot fully grasp why You made this sacrifice for me. I receive the love you offer freely to me and accept the gift You extend to me. Let me love you with my life. And while I know that I am weak and cannot keep the promises I’ve made to You, You will guide me even in this. My heart is yours yet you’ve entrusted it to me to give it back daily. You will keep that which I have committed.